I've been doing a silly thing. Oh, stop it. I know you all know I do silly things- that's not really new is it? But here's the thing.
I have realized I'm doing it and it feels so great to stop.
I have always had this idea that somehow it was my job.
Thought that if I did my job well that it would make other people happier.
Thought that if I didn't, that somehow people would think I didn't love them.
Sadly, I am not talking about serving lunch every day. Since that really is my job and people really do feel happier with a full tummy and if they are going hungry they really do think I don't love them. No, this is something different.
I stopped taking responsibility for their decisions. Those fabulous people around me are not my job and I am not responsible for their decisions. I can bless them through guidance if they are my child, counsel if they happen to be my husband, love and accept them if they are friends and family but I can let go of my "expectations" of them. If my kids dress funny and do childish things in social settings I will remember " Though others will judge me by my children, I love them and they are not me- they are fabulous all by themselves". Because I think we can all admit that we sometimes listen to those shadow voices that throw out judgement onto others. Or maybe that's just me. But regardless, I can and do need to let go and let God. Let God show His love for my friends and family through me. Let God worry about if other people say and do mean things. Let God put His hand on my heart and remind me that it is my job to serve Him and turn over outcomes to Him. Let God work in His way with all these wonderful and fabulous totally imperfect beings that He created to glorify Him. I don't know what other people's lessons they have to learn and what path it will take to learn them. I am not responsible for the happiness or sadness of others. I can make it easier or harder for them to be around me, surely. But I can't be awesome enough to make them happy nor dreadful enough to make them be sad against their will. I don't want the burden of knowing that I have hurt someone and certainly will strive to show my love for them. But if they don't receive I can find my own happiness and joy. I am blessed to know all of you and see the ways that you are great. I am free to love you because it's not for me to decide if your choices are good or bad, safe or scary. Those things are yours and God's. I don't have to worry about how my choices affect you, either. It's God's job to love, guide and teach you, Christ's job to save you and lead you back to Heaven and the job of the weathermen and economists to be wrong, my job to speak when directed by the Spirit, give when my heart tells me it's right, smile when I'm happy to see you, dance and sing when my Spirit is happy and sleep when I'm tired.....which I am. <3 Goodnight.
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