I've been doing a silly thing. Oh, stop it. I know you all know I do silly things- that's not really new is it? But here's the thing.
I have realized I'm doing it and it feels so great to stop.
I have always had this idea that somehow it was my job.
Thought that if I did my job well that it would make other people happier.
Thought that if I didn't, that somehow people would think I didn't love them.
Sadly, I am not talking about serving lunch every day. Since that really is my job and people really do feel happier with a full tummy and if they are going hungry they really do think I don't love them. No, this is something different.
I stopped taking responsibility for their decisions. Those fabulous people around me are not my job and I am not responsible for their decisions. I can bless them through guidance if they are my child, counsel if they happen to be my husband, love and accept them if they are friends and family but I can let go of my "expectations" of them. If my kids dress funny and do childish things in social settings I will remember " Though others will judge me by my children, I love them and they are not me- they are fabulous all by themselves". Because I think we can all admit that we sometimes listen to those shadow voices that throw out judgement onto others. Or maybe that's just me. But regardless, I can and do need to let go and let God. Let God show His love for my friends and family through me. Let God worry about if other people say and do mean things. Let God put His hand on my heart and remind me that it is my job to serve Him and turn over outcomes to Him. Let God work in His way with all these wonderful and fabulous totally imperfect beings that He created to glorify Him. I don't know what other people's lessons they have to learn and what path it will take to learn them. I am not responsible for the happiness or sadness of others. I can make it easier or harder for them to be around me, surely. But I can't be awesome enough to make them happy nor dreadful enough to make them be sad against their will. I don't want the burden of knowing that I have hurt someone and certainly will strive to show my love for them. But if they don't receive I can find my own happiness and joy. I am blessed to know all of you and see the ways that you are great. I am free to love you because it's not for me to decide if your choices are good or bad, safe or scary. Those things are yours and God's. I don't have to worry about how my choices affect you, either. It's God's job to love, guide and teach you, Christ's job to save you and lead you back to Heaven and the job of the weathermen and economists to be wrong, my job to speak when directed by the Spirit, give when my heart tells me it's right, smile when I'm happy to see you, dance and sing when my Spirit is happy and sleep when I'm tired.....which I am. <3 Goodnight.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Friday, February 6, 2015
Blame, shame......lame....
So let's say that once upon a time there was a Mom. Naturally, this is a hypothetical mom. This mom has kids- hence the "mom" title and she loves these little nuts like nothing else. She worries that they will grow up to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted big nuts who love their mom and visit her many weekends and bring her flowers on Mother's Day and get misty-eyed when certain songs play on the radio. Pretty basic Mom-type dreams, right?
So let's say that she lives in the greatest country on Earth....aka The United States. Flag waving and barbeques included. She wants to keep up and do good things and so she begins the laborious task of figuring out how to do this mom thing the "Right" way.
She looks at how her country is doing with regards to infant mortality rate. Ew, 27th is not the success story that one would expect of our wonderful progressive society but she didn't lose heart.
She looked at our cancer rates and suicide and depression rates among children and she looked at mental health, obesity and education. She looked at what Americans feed their children and what things they gave them for gifts and how much time they spent on electronics. She looked at accident rates in children and allergies and everything she could think of and she decided that while there were many people in this old world that knew more about parenting than she , there were none who loved her kids as much and she decided to do things differently.
She looked at countries that looked like they were successful with their health and well being. She looked at countries where their children don't suffer from diabetes, obesity and cell phones. She looked at countries with lower rates of infant death, suicides and she looked at how they ate, slept, walked, talked and breathed and she determined to change from the habits of those around her and instead be mindful of the state of the food her family consumed and the chemicals they were exposed to. And she decided that if you want different results from those you've always recieved you may have to try methods you've never tried before. And she did. She also noticed that if a parent feels threatened they will lash out at anyone who does things differently than they. As if you had to prove that your way is the one true way and none other can have joy and happiness if followed. And there was name calling and bashing on internet social sites. And she felt peaceful and good about the clothes her family wore and the food they eat and the places they go and the places they don't. She felt good about things her family listen to and what substances they put in their teeth and who was allowed to have a say in their family decisions. And sometimes she even said something when neighbors thought they should have input about what decisions she as a mom made. And this mom started to wonder why it was that she felt so good and safe at home but that the public square was a stressful place to stand. So she stood in her home and she sheilded herself when she went out and her mantra became "I have the right to be the best mom I can for my kids- and so do all of you."
Sometimes this mom would forget but a thoughtless comment would always remind her that judgement is God's and love is ours.
She wanted to stand in the street and yell "Go be the best awesome Moms you ever have been, the best you ever can be!!!"
And then she took a nap- because I'm writing this story and I choose to give the mom a break.
Can we do the same for every mom?
So let's say that she lives in the greatest country on Earth....aka The United States. Flag waving and barbeques included. She wants to keep up and do good things and so she begins the laborious task of figuring out how to do this mom thing the "Right" way.
She looks at how her country is doing with regards to infant mortality rate. Ew, 27th is not the success story that one would expect of our wonderful progressive society but she didn't lose heart.
She looked at our cancer rates and suicide and depression rates among children and she looked at mental health, obesity and education. She looked at what Americans feed their children and what things they gave them for gifts and how much time they spent on electronics. She looked at accident rates in children and allergies and everything she could think of and she decided that while there were many people in this old world that knew more about parenting than she , there were none who loved her kids as much and she decided to do things differently.
She looked at countries that looked like they were successful with their health and well being. She looked at countries where their children don't suffer from diabetes, obesity and cell phones. She looked at countries with lower rates of infant death, suicides and she looked at how they ate, slept, walked, talked and breathed and she determined to change from the habits of those around her and instead be mindful of the state of the food her family consumed and the chemicals they were exposed to. And she decided that if you want different results from those you've always recieved you may have to try methods you've never tried before. And she did. She also noticed that if a parent feels threatened they will lash out at anyone who does things differently than they. As if you had to prove that your way is the one true way and none other can have joy and happiness if followed. And there was name calling and bashing on internet social sites. And she felt peaceful and good about the clothes her family wore and the food they eat and the places they go and the places they don't. She felt good about things her family listen to and what substances they put in their teeth and who was allowed to have a say in their family decisions. And sometimes she even said something when neighbors thought they should have input about what decisions she as a mom made. And this mom started to wonder why it was that she felt so good and safe at home but that the public square was a stressful place to stand. So she stood in her home and she sheilded herself when she went out and her mantra became "I have the right to be the best mom I can for my kids- and so do all of you."
Sometimes this mom would forget but a thoughtless comment would always remind her that judgement is God's and love is ours.
She wanted to stand in the street and yell "Go be the best awesome Moms you ever have been, the best you ever can be!!!"
And then she took a nap- because I'm writing this story and I choose to give the mom a break.
Can we do the same for every mom?
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