Sunday, January 11, 2015

To The Tender Hearted Who Want Joy, Love and No Pain and Suffering.

Dear Baby-Loving Mamas,
   So I read an article on Deseret News, reposted to FB, about homebirth trends. Interesting article about the 2% of births in UT that are out of hospitals. But when I got to the comments I was surprised....and not in a good way. There were many comments that were civil and stated that they birthed, and that they were happy with the location they chose. Yay for MOMS!! .....And then there were the others. The ones that stated that a mom must be stupid.....neglectful.......dangerous........ridiculous........lacking in basic thought process and obviously only chose the home birth option because she couldn't use Google. That birth is a medical procedure(?) and that other countries with better health care across the board were obviously stupid...neglectful...well, you get the point. How does this kind of social dart throwing make us better moms? Decisions based in guilt, fear, shame and under social pressure will not be good for anyone, be the guilt and shame ever so connected to a home, birth center or hospital. Is it okay to operate under the assumption that all moms want what's best for their tiny precious bundles? That maybe they cared enough to make the best decision for that dependent soul? Because a difference in opinion doesn't give us the right to throw hurtful things into the atmosphere to rain down over others, just because we have the anonymity of our computer or smart phone to make us feel safe from the emotions of our fellowmamas.
Maybe we need to hold the thought of the opening doors of an abortion center, ready to admit a sweet woman who is confused and hurting- maybe not hurting now but sometime down the road. And maybe we need to hold out the same guilt and shame free love for her and every mama who carries a precious soul in the center of her heart and body and remember- we're doing the best we can. Don't doubt it, don't forget it, don't allow your tongue or your keypad to get away from you. If you disagree with my choices I give you my full permission to you to pray for greater understanding of why I make my choices the way I do and if you feel it necessary you can even pray for my soul if you feel the need. :) Pain and suffering happens in this world but my words don't need to be a part of it.
                                                                 Sincerely, Mom of 6- all born in ..........Utah

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